Crime and Punishment

"Club 12" eh? Who foresaw their meteoric rise from obscurity to the Elysian fields of the SPL? And w(h)ither Rangers?

There is much doom and gloom and talk of lose-lose decisions for the remaining SPL bigwigs as they wrestle with this thorniest of dilemmas. On the one hand Rangers need to be punished for their misdemeanours, relegation to the lowest tier of the SFL seeming to be acceptable to the fans of other clubs. On the other hand that will hit the remaining SPL clubs hard in the pocket, through the loss of cash from visiting Rangers fans and potentially reduced TV money. On that front the rumours seem to be that SKY/ESPN will countenance a single season without Rangers in the SPL, but not longer than that.

Amongst all this uncertainty the SFA, we are led to believe, are going to take action! Yes, that was "SFA" and "action" in the same sentence. It takes some getting used to. Attempts are being made to streamline the game in line with Henry McLeish's report, i.e. merge SPL and SFL, keep the SPL as is and re-brand the First Division as SPL2 with Rangers parachuting into it, introduce a proper pyramid structure to properly reward ambitious and well-run clubs, etc. Ambitious stuff, though not without problems - e.g. do Dundee (2nd in First Division) or Dunfermline (relegated from SPL) take Rangers place? (play-off maybe?) Will fans of other clubs accept Rangers only dropping into the First Division, and if not will they then make good on their promises of walking away from the game?

I wonder if the SFA aren't missing a trick. There is an opportunity here to kill all the birds with one stone. Below I've outlined my blueprint for Scottish football. Like all the best ideas it was hastily cobbled together in the space of a few minutes ;o) The benefits as I see them are:

• we get a decent SPL of 16 teams, i.e. 30 matches a season, no Mickey Mouse split needed 3/4 of the way through.
• with "only" 30 games there's enough room for a winter break.
• Rangers are punished by demotion to the lowest level of the league, which happily for SKY/ESPN is now only one level below the top.
• teams in SPL and SPL2 are roughly split according to the "size" of the club - a nebulous concept admittedly, but I'm using average home attendance as a reasonable proxy for this. Rangers aside, we only end up with the small anomaly of SPL2's Partick Thistle being "bigger" than a handful of SPL teams - but then the odd anomaly is no bad thing in sport.
• 2 teams go up/down between SPL and SPL2 each season. Play-offs between 2nd bottom SPL team and teams 2-4 from SPL2 (same as current SFL play-offs).

Previously the SPL owners have rejected a 16 team set up as not generating enough income. But they seem to think they can handle the relegation of Rangers (and potentially a significant loss of TV money), so I'm sure they could adapt to a 16 team league.

I know some people feel that a 16 team league will lead to "meaningless" games, so I would definitely link performance (i.e. league points) to the sharing out of at least some of the TV money. A win in a "meaningless" game might then be the difference between affording a new player next season or not.

In addition I'd have a similar system to that used in Germany, whereby teams have to renew a license each year in order to operate within the league. Keeping a license could involve submitting properly audited accounts, having youth coaching schemes inspected and approved, maintaining suitable training facilities, etc. Once the exact criteria are decided clubs should be given 5 years to meet the standards. I would also have the SFA ring fence some of the TV money for meeting these standards - no more splurging the cash on some guy that played twice for Honduras U21s a few years ago.

That's enough blether now. Below is the starting point for SPL and SPL2. Comments welcome as ever!

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NB Teams ordered by final 2011-12 league position (with one obvious exception!) average attendances for 2011-12 in brackets.

SPL
Celtic - 50,904
Motherwell - 5,946
Dundee United - 7,481
Heart of Midlothian - 13,381
St. Johnstone - 4,169
Kilmarnock - 5,537
St. Mirren - 4,492
Aberdeen - 9,296
Inverness Caledonian Thistle - 4,023
Hibernian - 9,909
Dunfermline Athletic - 4,799
Ross County - 2,874
Dundee - 6,879*
Falkirk - 5,386*
Hamilton Academical - 2,897*
Livingston - 4,938*

* attendances taken from last season in which the team played in the SPL

SPL 2
Partick Thistle - 4,710
Raith Rovers - 1,933
Greenock Morton - 1,814
Ayr United - 1,655
Queen of the South - 1,551
Cowdenbeath - 366
Arbroath - 793
Dumbarton - 632
Airdrie United - 810
Stenhousemuir - 603
East Fife - 598
Forfar - 507
Brechin - 521
Albion Rovers - 484
Stirling Albion - 557
I can't believe it's not Rangers - 46,324

(NB avg. attendances for teams in SFL2 in 2011-12 were taken from here - last updated on March 27th 2012 so incomplete)

Below this I would go for something like North and South regional leagues, to include the remaining current SFL teams plus Highland/Junior/East of Scotland/etc/etc teams as required/desired. Let's face it, in footballing terms Montrose won't miss too much if they exclusively play against teams in the north east/highlands instead of the likes of Clyde, Stranraer or Berwick Rangers. And vice versa of course. Keeping this level of the game regional will save travel costs for teams and fans and encourage local rivalries. At the end of the season I would have the top 2 teams in each region play-off against each other for 2 promotion places, i.e. North Team 1 v South Team 2 and North Team 2 v South Team 1. Of course you could do things a bit differently, maybe beef up the existing Highland/Junior/East of Scotland leagues and arrange promotion between the respective winners using a different format.

Regional Leagues
Alloa Athletic - 672
Queen's Park - 519
Stranraer - 354
Elgin City - 628
Peterhead - 488
Annan Athletic - 473
Berwick Rangers - 396
Montrose - 335
Clyde - 566
East Stirlingshire - 321
Highland/Junior/East of Scotland/etc. teams

RFC, HMRC, DOA?

The grim reaper is sharpening his scythe as stormclouds gather over Ibrox. How ironic that Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs might deal the final blow to her most loyal of subjects. Celtic seem unmoved by the plight of their nemesis, cheerily proclaiming that their business strategy does not depend on their bedraggled foes. I wonder what odds you can get just now on Celtic getting 10-in-a-row?

The best idea for everyone might just be to draw the curtain on Scottish football v1. The result after 130 years? Well, Rangers won more titles, but then again Celtic won more Scottish Cups and also a European Cup, and made it through to the end with their finances in decent order. So a draw. Well played everyone.

All that remains is to set up new teams for the Scottish Phoenix League, coming to a stadium near you in Spring - Autumn 2013. What an opportunity to re-shape Scottish football (into a sphere presumably), sweeping away the vested interests that hold it back, removing at a stroke the tribal tensions that blight our game.

For starters we could have a couple of new teams in Glasgow. Maybe one team could be for people that keep their place in books by folding over the corners of pages, the other for sensible, godly folk that use bookmarks? On second thoughts imagine the bile and hatred that this would unleash!

And we could have a single team for Edinburgh, maybe with a nickname that unites everyone in Auld Reekie...the Edinburgh Trams? Naw. The Edinburgh Goodwins? Optimistic sounding, who could possibly object to that name...?

Ditto for Dundee. I can just see the Dundee McGonagalls playing in a shiny new stadium down by the Tay, sporting a swanky new jute kit designed by the bods at the V&A, with player names and numbers made up of Topaz gemstones (they would at least justify the ridiculous price of the replica kits).

A single team for Aberdeen seems fine. Maybe a bit of re-branding could bring in a new audience? The Aberdeen Trumps, aiming for golf-football crossover appeal? Maybe not. The Aberdeen Turbines, going for the lucrative untapped eco-warrior audience? Hmmm...maybe the Aberdeen Bypasses? Since success regularly passes them by perhaps that would be right.

So there we have it, the blueprint for a successful SPL v2. Five realistic contenders for the title each year, with room for a challenge from one of the regional teams once in a while. Who needs Henry McLeish's review, or Ernie Walker's think tank?

The pain in Spain

The game in Alicante made for sobering viewing. I think it's time we come up with a new name for whatever it is Spain are playing, it bears little resemblance to the pedestrian game called football that everyone else is labouring with.

Glad to see Scotland stick at it though and hey, we won the last half hour! Yes, dear reader, that was the sound of straws being clutched right there. We've a decent side though, and I do think Craig Levein has us moving in the right direction. But for a contemptible dive and poor refereeing decision at the end of the Czech game we'd be looking forward to the play-offs now. Some decent young players are coming through, and the pace of Mackail-Smith and Goodwillie looked like it could threaten most teams. Shame that Goodwillie started reading his own headlines when he raced through and failed to square it to Mackail-Smith. 3-2 would have made for an interesting last few minutes. But hopefully he'll learn from the experience and be a bit cooler next time.

Another plus is the emergence of Bannan. He looks like just the kind of player we need to unlock opposing defences. The reality of the modern game is that every team is well organised and fit, even the likes of Liechtenstein. It's pretty rare for the minnows to get completely annihilated these days. The difference between the top teams and the also rans are those players that can create goals with a moment of creativity. If we can concentrate on encouraging the development of these type of players then we'll start to move up the rankings and maybe even qualify for a tournament.

All of which leads to the main point of this post. I do hope that the fans and press alike give Craig Levein at least another round of qualifying (or two) to continue to pursue his vision for the development of Scottish football. He's the first national manager I can remember who actually talks sense about the need to change how we coach kids to play in order to become competitive at international level. By definition the fruits of his labours with our youngest players will take several years to pay off. The last thing we need is to give him the chop in favour of someone who only sees the job as a stepping stone to a bigger pay day.

Ok, the tactics away to the Czechs were pretty objectionable (although in fairness they did almost work), but other than that Levein has developed a squad that clearly play with spirit and are trying their hardest. I'd like to see him use the time until the next qualifiers to give Mackail-Smith and Goodwillie more experience and perhaps to make sure that we have a good plan B in place for when his favoured 4-1-4-1 has to be abandoned. The 4-4-2 that we ended with against Spain tonight looked pretty reasonable, or perhaps a 3-5-2 with Hutton and Naismith charging down the flanks.

Finally, we can ill afford to have a player like Steven Fletcher sidelined. It would be great to see him back in the fold. I'm not sure on which side the problem lies, though from the press reports it seems to be on Fletcher's, but enough's enough. Time to bury the hatchet and get him back involved.

Footbawl 2020

Depressing times for Scottish football. No teams left in European competition (although Celtic might just sneak back in if Sion are booted out) and it's still August.

I remember the wailing and gnashing of teeth in 1990 when we were dumped out of the World Cup by Costa Rica amongst others. Well it's 20 years later and we've gone backwards. Time to wake up and smell the coffee. Here's a quick guide to fixing Scottish football, the good news is it should all be doable by 2020.

1. First and foremost develop a new style of play. I know Craig Levein & Mark Wotte are already working on this but all clubs in Scotland need to sign up to it. Football has changed in the last 20 years. It's all about technique and athleticism today. That's what we need to focus on with the very youngest players. By 2020 some of them should be pushing through into the senior sides. NB All the points below are of secondary importance to this.

2. Become an export industry. Rangers and Celtic aren't going to win anything in Europe. Ever again. Accept it. Indeed, embrace the fact. Success will instead be seeing our players performing for clubs at the highest level. The SFA should have in mind an initial target of at least 30 Scottish players playing regularly for clubs in the English Premier League, Bundesliga, Serie A, La Liga and Ligue 1 by 2020. Look how many Dutch players are in these leagues - that's the level we need to get to. Part of developing young players should be to prepare them for living and playing abroad.

3. If point 2 is achieved then the real proof of success should emerge, namely Scotland youth and senior sides qualifying regularly for European Championships/World Cups again. Choosing a team from 30+ players who play top level football every week would certainly help.

4. Summer football. The season should run from March to November. Better weather means better pitches, in turn better football and perhaps then bigger crowds and TV audiences and the money that goes along with them. A mid-season break would easily allow us to accommodate the major international tournaments (assuming we were participating!).

5. End Mickey Mouse league format. 16 teams in the top division, they play each other twice home and away. Automatic relegation for one team, second and third bottom play off with the second and third from SPL 2. Allow Rangers and Celtic (plus others if willing & able) to field reserve teams in SPL 2 with the proviso that they can't be promoted. Proper pyramid system down to junior/highland league level.

6. Minimum standards for entry to SPL 1, e.g. SFA-accredited youth training scheme, proper training/medical facilities to include (ideally indoor) 3G pitch. Standards to be enforced in season starting March 2020. Gives clubs 9 years to sort this out, surely enough time.

7. If all else fails, splash the cash on some top drawer youth coaches from Spain, Holland or Germany and wait 10 years for the results. If I was the owner of Rangers or Celtic I'd be investing my money there rather than in the Rafael Scheidts of this world.

Mon the Loons!

3pm Station Park awaits...

4:50pm The Loons are up!