Welcome to the Brigadoon Broadcasting Corporation

Well, since the BBC website is hacking and coughing this morning, and since an unrelenting work schedule has finally (albeit briefly) relented, I thought I'd keep any of you still checking in on Brigadoon abreast of the latest news...

New EU President to be announced

EU leaders will today name the BBC test card doll as their preferred candidate for the post of EU president. In a move seen as warding off attempts to parachute Tony Blair into the job, the heads of 26 member states will rally around the inane, grinning puppet and tell him to stick to bringing peace to the Middle East.

Tories 'split on Europe'

Political pundits were reeling yesterday as it emerged the Tories might not all agree on Britain's relationship with the rest of Europe. By 9am this morning the BBC had received no complaints that this rag-tag bunch of right-wing xenophobes have repeatedly been invited onto the prestigious Question Time programme.
More scoops: Ursine quadraped defecates in sylvan wilderness; Pontiff sports unusual head adornment; Rangers blow it again, Celtic determined to match them.

Where did it all go wrong?

Audit Scotland have announced that Scotland is facing the biggest budget squeeze since devolution in the years ahead. If anyone has any information on the whereabouts of the two men pictured opposite, they are urged to contact their faces with clenched fists or similar blunt instruments.

The wages of sin

A rare beast skulked up to the portcullis in Brigadoon yesterday, casually wondering whether he could count on my vote for the Conservatives at the forthcoming Euro elections.

After I stopped laughing and had released the dogs I started thinking about tactical voting. Has disillusionment with New Labour's misrule really reached a point where upstanding Scots should consider a vote for the Tories in those few Scottish seats where they might unseat Labour (Jim Murphy's constituency for one)?

Thankfully I don't find myself with that dilemma in Brigadoon (rock-solid Natural Law Party territory since you ask, yogic flying being the only way in or out). But with the list of Labour's outrageous failings lengthening daily, I can imagine a fair few Scots will be thinking the unthinkable come election time.

Swinging into this picture I learn today, is that loveable rogue Tommy Sheridan. He is to stand proud as a candidate for the snappily-named NO2EU/Yes to Democracy coalition. This ragtag bunch of left-wing reprobates is being sponsored by those erstwhile rogues the RMT. Apparently none of the candidates intend to take up their seat at the EU should they be elected.

Now, first off I wonder if anyone would notice if they didn't turn up. Indeed the prospect of saving all those MEP expenses should easily be enough to see them romp home.

And secondly, how did it come to this? The RMT helped found the Labour party. Yet they are now so disgusted with what Labour has become, that not only have they severed their ties, but they are also actively campaigning against Labour. And how many other unions are considering the same heresy?

With any luck this will serve to split the Labour vote, leaving plenty room for the SNP to pick up a few seats. Or even (whisper it if you dare) for the Tories to rear their ugly heads again...

Poll results: Would you back Tory plans to break up the nationalised banks?

Yes: 2 votes
No: 0 votes
Only the biggest: 2 votes

Thanks for your votes, erm, all 3 of you!