Will it be contestant number 1, the baby-faced assassin Nick Cameron?
Or would you rather be at the mercy of contestant number 2, meths-swigging heid-the-ba' Gordon Clegg?
Or whisper it if you dare, the grande dame of grand coalitions, contestant number 3 David Brown?
"I'm a laydee!"
Just be thankful Alex Salmond doesn't feature in any of the above...
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