Sunday, 8 March 2009

Bonnie Dundee - an Extraordinary Rendition

Tae the Labour convention, yon haverin' joke,
When ye hear a' Brown's clowns, they gie ye the dry boak;
Wi' the truth cavalier, fearin' the SNP,
Sae hollow their sonnet frae bonnie Dundee.

The spinnin' starts up, delivered deadpan:
"T'was globalised forces! (Deil tak wha ye can!)"
An' whaur's their support? Gone tapsalteerie!
An' it's doon wi' the Broonites in bonnie Dundee!

Expenses are mounting, in each Labour seat,
Poll ratings slide backwards, they'll soon taste defeat.
But the PM, puce man, scarce whispers: "Sorry",
Rebuked yet no action frae Lyon's committee!

"Let's invade Iraq!", tae fill oor oil can,
Then: "Saddle up soldier, next stop Taliban!"
The Hutton Report, an' lost liberties!
Aye, it's doon wi' the Broonites in bonnie Dundee!

McLetchie in Pentland showed up Gray's true worth:
Outwitted e'en by yon political smurf!
Thon grave Broonite vassal, Toom Tabard Murphy,
Has the emptiest bonnet in bonnie Dundee!

HBOS is wound up, RBS doon the pan,
Saddle us wi' debt, for Fred's pension plan!
Bail oot Northern Rock, Bradford and Bingley!
Aye, it's doon wi' the Broonites in bonnie Dundee!

Then awa' wi' the Bills, tae empow'r us Scots,
Entrenchin' the culture o' "Alba cannot"!
Lab, Tories and LibDems: whit foul trinity!
But they'll get their comeuppance frae voters like me!

The time's lang since up, for Labour's lifespan,
Ye'd see mair democracy in the Sudan!
Tho' media distort, each breakin' story,
We'll turf oot the Broonites throughout the country!


ed iglehart said...

Brilliant! I knew you could fell a wee tune comin on..


Richard the Rogue said...

Another instant classic. When is the album coming out?

Also, could I impose upon you and ask you to publish a link to my new little site which provides a forum for discussion and information?



forfar-loon said...

Thanks fellas, this latest effort is what the mods felt unable to pass on the latest Blether with Brian. Admittedly the first two versions were a wee bit stronger in tone, but I couldn't bear to sanitise it any further. At this rate BwB will descend to discussing fluffy kittens or cute puppies before long.

Added a link to your site Richard, will take a look at it later on. Might try to add an album feature to the blog at some stage too!

Richard the Rogue said...

Thanks loon. The BwB mods can be a bit touchy, can't they. The quirkynats bulletin board is brand shiny new and empty at the moment, please feel free to sign up and start some discussions!

maybe there should be a 'Poetry Corner'...

forfar-loon said...

Yep Richard, touchy and sloooow! I'm hoping this (or your) blog becomes the overflow car park for BwB. My plan is to flag up here any updates Brian makes, hopefully over time we'll get some good discussions going and I won't have to provide much content ;o)

We just need to get a critical mass of BwB bloggers to make the leap. Might be worth adding some plugs for the sites on BwB at some stage...

Richard the Rogue said...

Agreed. I'm sure there's a place for both blog and bulletin board, as both have slightly different focus and uses.

If you decide to sign up I can tell you more.

Critical mass is the thing. I think there's plenty desire for this out there, the right publicity is required.

forfar-loon said...

Interesting email from the BBC mods. Apparently my updated version of Bonnie Dundee above was blocked because: contains material on which the copyright appears to be owned by someone else.

Presumably they are referring to the link I included in the title to the Corries performing Bonnie Dundee. Unless they're accusing the Loon of...plagiarism! [Gasp!] How dare they! Took me hours to think of a rhyme for "brave duniwassal"...

subrosa said...

My blog started after the Scotsman and Herald forums became haunted by trolls. It's so much better now discussing things on a blog or the likes of your forum Richard.

I'll promote it on mine too.